So many identities. So few flag poles.

IT’S International Lesbian Visibility Week.

I don’t know if that means lesbians will be getting around in Hi Vis jackets, or if it means that we need to point them out. Whatever the case, yay lesbians!

London Mayor Sadiq Khan was quick to raise the lesbian flag (yes, there is a flag for women who sleep with each other) from City Hall ‘to celebrate London’s lesbian communities and their contributions to the city’s past and present’.

Ah yes, the great lesbian achievements of London. Anyone?

Sadly, Mayor Khan ran out of tweet space to list specific lesbian contributions, so the public were left to imagine. Or not.

Still, if it were not for the mayor’s lesbian banner, proudly fluttering atop the city’s chief administrative building, people would likely be so distracted by war in Ukraine and rising fuel prices that London’s lesbians would have gone unappreciated.

Emptying bins. Running buses. Scheduling trains. Lopping trees. Collecting litter. And celebrating lesbians. All in a day’s work for the London Mayor.

What Mayor Khan cannot find time for - aside from stopping knife crime - is defining “women”, which seems a little odd if you are going to fly the flag for lesbians.

When asked recently if some women have male reproductive organs he replied: “You’re in danger of inciting hatred against people (by asking that question).”

This, of course, makes International Lesbian Visibility Week very confusing since, if even people with male appendages can be lesbians, then literally anyone could be a lesbian. It’s a crowded playing field.

Anyway, readers ruing the fact that lesbian week is half over and they’ve not yet had a chance to celebrate should not despair.

There is hardly a month of the year where LGBTQ identities are not being paraded, celebrated, cheered and promoted.

Australians get a second chance to honour lesbians on October 8, which is International Lesbian Day. It’s basically the same as Lesbian Visibility Week, except that it’s in October and it’s only for 24 hours. The point is, we need to celebrate lesbians.

Sadly, some people will not want to celebrate Lesbian Day, or Lesbian Visibility Week, which is why May 17 has been marked as International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia.

The hard work of raging against ideological opponents will be rewarded a week later with Pansexual Visibility Day.

A pansexual is a person who is attracted to people of all genders and it’s important that they are visible. Look out for them on May 24.

Pansexuals are different to bisexuals who are attracted to only two genders (as opposed to all the other ones). Bisexuals get their own visibility day on September 23, by which time municipal buildings the world over will be running out of flag poles.

But forgive me. I’m skipping ahead.

The entire month of June is “Pride Month” – famously proclaimed by the Clinton administration - which basically celebrates everyone, other than heterosexuals.

July 14 is International Non-Binary People’s Day, honouring people who feel like they may be a mix of genders, or perhaps have no gender at all.

This is not to be confused with Asexual Awareness Week, as promoted by the Queensland Government, beginning on October 25. The week is set aside to honour people who feel zero sexual attraction to anyone. They deserve a week.

And asexuals have their own flag, obviously.

Earlier that month, on October 3 to be exact, we have the opportunity to observe International Pronouns Day.

Adverbs, nouns and prepositions – like heterosexuals – don’t get a special day.

It might surprise you to learn that Transgender Awareness Week is not until mid-November since it feels like we’ve been living it for a few years now.

Pansexuals already had their visibility day in May, but they get a special Pansexual Pride Day on December 8 because, if you’re attracted to everyone, well you should be proud.

All of that awareness and visibility and pride leaves just a few months to ready your float for Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in March.

But with the plethora of new genders and sexual orientations (I’ve not listed half of them), someone needs to think about what happens when local governments run out of flag days before they run out of identities.

Perhaps authorities might need to start doubling up.

Or - and this is just a crazy thought – maybe they could simply fly the flag that represents us all, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. In London they call it the Union Jack. Here it’s the Flag of Australia.