Climate Council Says We Should Be Scared

But it's so hard to be afraid while rolling your eyes!

You remember the Climate Council? That esteemed organisation once headed by Tim Flannery who predicted that even the rain that fell on the east coast would not be enough to fill our dams …

Well the Climate Council has issued a press release today explaining that the CSIRO’s annual report should make every Australian frightened.

I’m not so sure. Is it possible to be very afraid while rolling your eyes all at the same time?

The press release begins with an announcement …

The State of the Climate 2024 report from Australia’s CSIRO and Bureau of Meteorology confirms the experiences of millions of Australians: we are now living in an era of climate consequences.

An era of climate consequences? I’m shaking in my boots.

What does that even mean? If the climate is hot, you wear shorts as a consequence. Right?

Or am I missing something?

Could there be a climate of non-consequences? I don’t know.

But if the CSIRO were going for a headline, “an era of climate of consequences” hardly matches “an era of global boiling” as the UN boss declared last year.

Climate Council CEO Amanda McKenzie said: “Climate pollution is hitting Australian families hard and the consequences are playing out in real time, making our fire seasons longer, and the rain to arrive in sudden, heavy downpours.”

The CSIRO are now warning us about “climate pollution”? That’s a new one.

I get how exhaust fumes constitute pollution. But weather patterns are now “pollution”?

As for longer fire seasons, the failure to adequately back burn during non-fire season is a factor the CSIRO might want to consider. Perhaps the Greens could speak to this.

As for “rain arriving in sudden, heavy downpours” - is there a way to arrange for the rain to arrive in a well-telegraphed, light, sprinkle that sort of builds gradually into a wet - but not too wet - shower that keeps you cool without making your t-shirt see-through?

If I walk rather than drive to work for the next 12 months, could we organise that kind of rain? Or do I need to give up eating steak as well?

“Unfortunately, the State of the Climate report is not a Halloween trick; it’s a grim reminder that we have no time to waste. It is frightening to read.”

Halloween trick? I thought it was more like a Saturday Night Live sketch.

But I’m trying to be frightened. Really, I am. It’s just so difficult when you’re laughing so hard.

“We can take heart from the progress we are making in clean energy and transport. To address the state of our climate, it’s critical to keep this momentum going. 

The upward momentum of my electricity bill certainly keeps going. And going. And going.

“This latest science should scare all Australian governments into faster cuts to climate pollution. CSIRO and the weather bureau are warning us that every new coal and gas approval condemns Australians to longer and more severe bushfires, to more extreme droughts and rainfall events, as well as higher insurance bills.”

We should be scared?

Why?

Because bed-wetters at the Climate Council say so?

Because Tim Flannery and friends at the CSIRO declare an “era of climate consequences”?

Whatever happened to UN Secretary-General António Guterres declaration that we were “on a climate highway to hell”? That was waaaaay scarier.

Era of climate consequences is just lame. No-one’s ditching their Qantas flights (hello Albo) based on that slogan.

When it comes to scary rhetoric, the CSIRO are rank amateurs.

Climate Council Fellow, GP and mental health expert Grant Blashki said: “While the physical health impacts of climate change are becoming increasingly evident, the mental health toll is significant as well.

“We’re seeing direct effects from more frequent and intense heatwaves, which research shows can worsen mental health issues and even contribute to an increase in suicidal behaviours.

When you can’t avoid to turn on the air condition because the cost of renewables has sent power prices through the roof, yes, you do tend to feel suicidal.

“On top of that, there’s a growing sense of existential stress, especially in young Australians as they grapple with predictions of future climate change and what it means for them.”

This is hilarious.

The Climate Council tell us that the CSIRO report is “frightening to read” and that we “should be scared”.

Next minute, they lament that there is “a growing sense of existential stress”.

Do they never stop to join the dots?

Be scared!!!!!!!!

Be afraid!!!!!!!!!

Huh? Why so stressed?

Morons.

“At a time when cost-of-living pressures are already straining many Australians, climate change compounds the problem.

Yeah, nah.

The impact of renewables on my power bill - the wholesale cost of electricity rose 80 percent nationally over the past 12 months - is compounding the cost of living crisis.

The flow-on effects of more extreme weather events are driving up costs, particularly insurance premiums, for those in fire or flood prone areas, adding yet another layer of stress for vulnerable communities.

Another great concern is worsening droughts which can have a huge impact on farmers’ livelihoods and mental well-being.

When talking about the impost on farmers, they don’t mention prime farming land being forcibly resumed to roll out 22,000km of high voltage power lines. Funny how they miss that part.

“This serves as a reminder that climate change doesn’t just harm our environment. In countries like Australia, it has profound impacts on people’s health and it’s felt most acutely by those already in vulnerable situations.”

The “vulnerability” most of us feel is a situation where we won’t be able to afford to air condition our homes this summer thanks to the mad capped renewable schemes of the CSIRO and the Climate Council.

Nope. I can’t do it. Sorry Climate Council bed-wetters … I can’t be scared AND roll my eyes at the same time. It’s just not possible.