Climate Anxiety in a Climate of Anxiety

How Greta Helped Me Overcome My Climate Fears

I had the misfortune of reading a BBC article today entitled: “Climate Anxiety is Rising It Might Be a Good Thing”.

The article quotes psychotherapist Caroline Hickman who “specialises in climate anxiety”.

That’s a thing now. You can specialise in it.

The BBC specialise in fear mongering. But I digress.

Hickman, who has “treated a significant number of young people” says it’s "totally normal" to worry about the state of the planet, but forgot to add “if you read the BBC”.

She helpfully advises that "sinking into despair and climate doomism is not the solution".

Good point doc.

Once I get taxed for every episode of flatulence, then I'll feel better. That money could be used for good.

A great deal of the climate anxiety I currently feel is over all the diesel generators at COP27 being used to power all the electric vehicles. Then again, how else to save the polar bears?

But it’s not all bad.

I have been able to keep my climate anxiety in check thinking about the two beachfront mansions - at Martha’s Vineyard and Hawaii - Obama recently purchased after spending eight years warning that rising oceans meant humanity’s imminent destruction.

It’s almost like the climate crisis is a hoax to keep us distracted while the elite steal our wealth.

But that’s just my anxiety talking.

Remember this article from 2004?

A top secret Pentagon report warned that by 2024 climate change could cause “a global catastrophe costing millions of livers in wars and natural disasters”?

“Britain will be Siberian in less than 20 years,” the report predicted. “European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas by 2020,” it said.

I find myself laughing at these reports. I guess it’s just my way of coping with having died during the global catastrophe two years ago.

Another way to cope is to think about the 70s oil crisis, the AIDS crisis, Y2K, the monkey pox and the possibility that Madonna and Dennis Rodman might have produced a child. I’ve been afraid my entire life.

They now report that around one in three people believe climate change will destroy humanity. This idea has been drilled into our brains over the past 30 years.

Greta Thunberg has been one of the media’s favourite drills.

It’s ironic that the BBC regularly feature Greta Thunberg giving people tips on how to deal with climate anxiety since she is the cause of most of it.

The Goblin of Doom has spent the past decade skipping school to warn us that we are all about to die.

"Around the year 2030," she said in 2019, “we will be in a position where we set off an irreversible chain reaction beyond human control that will most likely lead to the end of our civilisation as we know it.”

She loves to mix a bit of anxiety with a dash of anarchy …

“I want you to panic... If standing up against the climate and ecological breakdown and for humanity is against the rules then the rules must be broken.”

Remember when she thundered at world leaders assembled in the UN …

“This is all wrong. I shouldn’t be standing here. I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us young people for hope? How dare you!”

Her parents promoted her. Elites applauded her. World leaders feted her. Anyone who suggested the kid just needed a good nap was smeared as a hater.

Anyone who said it was ridiculous that the world was being hectored by a Swedish teenager was accused of being “threatened by a child”.

But it was pretty clear with anyone who had eyes to see that How Dare You was no ordinary kid. Her parents confirmed as much in 2020 when they released their book “Our House Is on Fire: Scenes of a Family and a Planet in Crisis”.

Available in all good bookstores! Get your copy now! Cha Ching!

Mum and Dad Greta reveal that the piggy tailed wonder had been suffering anxiety her entire life, long before she became fixated on saving the world from an invisible, odourless gas.

“It was as if she could see our CO2 emissions with her naked eye,” they wrote.

Read the article for yourself here. It’s pretty clear that the kid with disorders has been used to create disorders in people all around the world.

As former climate advisor to President Obama Michael Shellenberg writes: “The media weaponized a teenage girl suffering from serious anxiety disorders” to produce series anxiety disorders in a good proportion of the population.

Fortunately, the five foot human alarm bell has recently said there was no going back to normal, normal being the “a system of colonialism, imperialism, oppression, genocide, racist, oppressive extractionism”.

Ahhh … so the problem is not so much C02 as capitalism and other forms of social injustice that plague the planet. That’s the agenda I suspected all along.

I’m suddenly free from climate fear. It’s only the socialist left I’m afraid of.