Australian Cricketers Offered Counselling in the Event of a 'No' Vote

But why? They’re used to losing!

Australian cricketers have been told they have access to counselling services should the Indigenous Voice to Parliament get voted down today.

But why? They’re used to losing!

I needed counselling services after watching the Australian team’s performance at the World Cup this week.

They dropped five catches against South Africa.

Where’s my therapist?!

It’s hard to believe Cricket Australia is serious. Not even the Wallabies are this soft.

Of course, our cricketers could just respect the majority vote of their fellow Australians.

Evidently not.

They will apparently require the services of a highly skilled counsellor to walk them through the deep trauma resulting from the realisation that a new bureaucratic body will not be set up in Canberra.

At least this news makes it easier to pick out the players when they are fielding.

Who’s bowling?

Karen.

“Who’s at long off?

Karen

And what about the guy at deep backward square leg?

He’s a Karen too

Fancy needing counselling because a political vote doesn’t go your way. Will tissues be provided as well?

Is this on top of the counselling they are already receiving to help them cope with climate change?

I wonder what reward they get if they tidy their rooms, and remember a clean handkerchief in the morning.

At least, having lost two from two at the One Day World Cup this week, they’ll be out of the competition early so as to have plenty of extra time to cry together and to braid each others’ hair.

Our national cricket team used to be the pride of Australia. These days they’re a woke joke.