AFL Umpire in Naughty Corner Over Bin Laden Costume

An AFL umpire has been suspended for one game and sent for “education” after dressing up as terrorist Osama Bin Laden for an end of season party.

Personally, I wonder if field umpire Leigh Haussen would have been better advised to attend the party as Saddam Haussen. But that’s just my two cents.

The umpires end of season party was themed “Characters from the 2000s” …

Wait. Before I go any further, can you imagine anything more beige than an umpires end of year party?

Seriously. Umpires make accountants look like bikers.

Anyway, some of the umpires came as characters from Toy Story. But Leigh Haussen turned up as the architect of the attack on the Twin Towers.

It’s important to note that no-one actually complained about his costume. And why would they? It was a private function with mate. And there was no suggestion Haussen was lionising Bin Laden. If anything, he was taking the piss.

So who was offended? Jihadists?

Just on that, we have idiots dressing up as terrorists and protesting every single weekend in this country. Would that someone would suspend them!

Anyway, the AFL are now fully woke which means that nothing is ever allowed to be funny, at all.

I’ll admit, it was a poor choice of costume. If he wanted to dress up as a person whom everyone hates, he should have gone as an AFL umpire!

No sooner was the umpires party over than someone at AFL headquarters saw a photo of the costume and the umpy was hauled in for a chat faster than you can say ‘He’s in Abbottabad’.

Turns out the dress up really bombed.

This is the second time in weeks that the AFL has been embarrassed by end of year festivities.

Several Great Western Sydney players were suspended after their dress up shenanigans. Though, it must be remembered, the GWS boys did a little more than dress up - they performed lewd skits with sex dolls.

They thought it would be funny, though not nearly as funny as their semi final capitulation against the Brisbane Lions.

But back to Leigh Haussen. The Australian reported …

Haussen will attend education training, will miss the opening round of the season through suspension, and has apologised for his outfit.

Apologised to whom? No-one was offended, and no-one complained.

As for education training - what will they teach Haussen?

That dressing as Bin Laden can blow up in your face?

The guy - Haussen not Bin Laden - was mucking around. There was no suggestion the umpire was making a hero out of a terrorist.

If the AFL want to teach people not to make heroes of terrorists, there are some sheiks in Greater Western Sydney (the area, not the football team) that could do with some education. Or deportation. Both are good.

Haussen released the now-mandatory hostage statement (irony intended) saying …

“I am sorry, I made an error of judgement.

“I never intended to offend anyone.”

Of course you didn’t intend any offence. You’re a young man having a bit of a laugh with mates. The only people offended were the corporates at Karen headquarters.

But was it actually the field umpire who dressed up as the 9/11 terrorist? There are rumours it was an inside job. (I’ll be here all week)

AFL head of umpiring Stephen McBurney confirmed Haussen’s suspension with a statement that dripped with oestrogen.

“Leigh understands the inappropriate nature of his costume.

He has reflected on that choice.

Leigh is a valued member of the umpiring group with an unblemished record both throughout his umpiring career and since his elevation to the AFL umpires list in 2017.

“We will support Leigh to make his return to umpiring AFL football following this suspension.”

“Reflected on his choice”? How old is he? Five?

And the umpiring group will “support Leigh to make his return to umpiring”? He doesn’t have cancer. He’s sitting out one game.

You have to laugh.

Not to be outdone, the AFL Umpires Association also released a statement, saying that Haussen had an “unblemished” record and meant “no harm” but acknowledged the costume “lacked consideration”.

Well sorry but as far as I’m concerned, he still has an “unblemished record” - are we really going to crucify guys for wearing a mask at a private fancy dress do?

He meant no harm. Exactly. And guess what? No harm was done! As the umpires themselves are so fond of saying … play on!

Oh, but it lacked consideration.

Rubbish. It was the AFL who “lacked consideration” by jumping on a photo from a private function - a function about which literally zero people had complained - and publicly crucifying one of their own.

“The AFLUA acknowledges that umpire Leigh Haussen has been sanctioned for wearing an inappropriate costume at a private end of season celebration. Leigh at all times cooperated fully and transparently with the AFL investigation,”

That last part really made me laugh. The Bin Laden mask wearer ‘at all times cooperated fully with the investigation’.

What?

If you didn’t know Haussen had only worn a mask, you’d have sworn he committed a murder. Or turned up to Collingwood training in a car.

The umpire thought it would be funny. The woke Karens were not amused In the past it would have been a difference of opinion that was left at that. But we cannot have that in 2024.

The man is suspended and plastered all over the today’s newspapers.

I think everyone will recover from the agony caused by his costume. I just hope our culture will recover from this bout of madness where we punish young men for the crime of having poor taste.

Oh, and one more thing.

Why is it that the AFL will discipline an umpire for wearing a funny mask out of season, but won’t do a thing about umpires terrorising fans with their inconsistent rulings during the season?