Your Pocket Guide to 'Wokespeak'

With the ascendency of Joe Biden and the rise of Leftism around the Western world, it is vital that every person hoping to survive the next four years becomes fluent in the mysterious language of Wokespeak.

Failure to become proficient in Wokespeak can result in job loss, social ostracisation or worse.

To help you navigate the Leftist’s brave new world, I offer the following helpful guide.

Anti-racism

This is a completely meaningless term since almost no-one is pro-racism.

But just because a term is meaningless does not mean it is useless. In fact, the repetition of meaningless terms – as if they were utterances of profound thought – is a key feature of Wokespeak.

The more meaningless a term, the more useful it is likely to be since its meaninglessness makes it difficult to rebut. How do you argue against a mist?

Letting people know that you are anti-racism automatically positions anyone who disagrees with anything else you say as being “for racism”, and therefore wrong.

Overrepresented

This term implies that the number of people of a particular gender, ethnicity or sexuality performing any task — or found in any situation — should be proportional to their numbers in the general community.

If 90 per cent of SAS troops are men, then men are overrepresented. This is deemed to be a problem because it suggests there is a difference between the sexes.

Since almost no women are physically capable of qualifying for the SAS, the entry standard must be lowered to allow more women to qualify and so prove that they are exactly the same as men.

If the number of indigenous people in jail is proportionally higher than their numbers in the general community, they are said to be overrepresented in the justice system. This is a problem since it could suggest some cultures are different to others.

The courts are pressured to show leniency to indigenous offenders so as to keep them out of jail and thus prove that no culture is worse than any other.

Another example of overrepresentation is the number of African Americans playing in the NBA. But this is not something Leftists talk about. 

Diversity

Diversity is how the Woke justify the number of blacks, women or gays in desirable positions to be out of all proportion to their numbers in the general community, without being accused of overrepresentation.

The more people of colour, women and LGBTQ members on a corporate board, for example, the better — though no-one really knows why.

It is vital to realise that diversity does not apply to thought. In fact, diversity of thought has the power to completely nullify actual diversity. 

For example, if the black man on your corporate board does not believe cultural appropriation is a real thing, then he is not really black and so he does not contribute to diversity. In this case, he must be replaced with a black man who thinks like all the other Leftists in the room so that diversity can be maintained.

Cultural Appropriation

This is when people from one culture borrow something from another culture, without giving due credit.

For instance, a white man who wears dreadlocks or who performs rap music, would be guilty of cultural appropriation. And a white woman creating dot paintings would be guilty of cultural theft.

But you would be wrong to think that an indigenous woman playing piano, or a black man playing golf, were examples of cultural appropriation.

Cultural appropriation only happens when an oppressor group borrows from a victim group; and never the other way around. Those are the rules.

Equity

The beauty of this word is that it sounds like equality, so people will readily agree to it without ever realising what they are agreeing to. It’s a bit like how the Greens sell themselves as environmentalists. But I digress. 

Equality is the out-dated, now discredited idea of treating everyone the same. The problem with treating everyone the same is that not everyone ends up at the same place. And this is unfair. 

Equity means treating everyone very differently -– penalising some and rewarding others –- in order to make certain they all end up in the same place no matter what they do. Because this is fair.

That the elites decide who is penalised and who is rewarded is not fair. But they don’t care about fair and there’s nothing you can do about it, so stop whining about what’s fair and what’s not.

Hate Speech

This is any speech that members of the Left hate.

Violent Speech

This is any speech that causes members of the Left to become violent toward the speaker.

Unconscious bias

Some people (by whom we mean all white people) are so biased that they are not even aware of their bias. Or to put it another way, they are rotten to the core.

When a white person protests that they do not have unconscious bias, they prove that they have it.

Any suggestion that Leftists made up the idea of unconscious bias because they themselves are deliberately biased against white people is an example of violent speech.

Systemic Racism

This term is used to describe racism that is so deeply entrenched that actual examples are impossible to find.

When asked to define structural racism, Leftists will give what sounds – to non-Leftists – like vague generalisations but which are actually convincing proofs to those who are already convinced and so don’t need any proof.

The presence of structural racism makes it necessary for Leftists to dismantle everything and to build a new society in which every institution is biased toward non-Whites, thus replacing so-called structural racism with actual structural racism.

LGBTQ Community

This phrase is important since it convinces people that lesbians, gays, bisexual, transgendered and queer people all exist in one happy, united, playful rainbow family – unlike heterosexuals who everyone knows are always miserable.

But in reality, the LBGTQ Community does not exist.

L’s think G’s are irresponsible and immature. G’s regard L’s as stuffy and arrogant. Both L’s and G’s think B’s are in denial. Neither L’s, G’s or B’s really understand T’s. And none of the L’s, G’s, B’s or T’s are exactly sure what a Q even is.

Micro-aggression

This magical phrase enables us to turn a race or gender-based prejudice so small as to be imperceptible into something so egregious as to be a hanging offence.

Something as seemingly innocuous as a facial expression or even a momentary silence can, with the right training, be identified as code that gives one away as an ugly racist or as a terrible misogynist.

Those trained in the art of detecting micro-aggressions are able to find offence everywhere, and usually do. As a result, the number of friends they have can be written on a micro list.