Woke Council Sucks the Life Out of Halloween

In a move that would make Dracula proud, Sydney’s Inner West Council has managed to completely suck the life out of local Halloween celebrations.

Local government ghouls advised residents this week that Halloween decorations should be sustainable rather than spooky, and organic rather than occultic.

How could management approve this kind of advice going out just two days before the Halloween festival?

Maybe council was operating on skeleton staff. (I’ll be here all week)

The council warned ratepayers not to decorate their yards with plastic spiders or synthetic spider webs incase local wildlife ingested them.

Because when dressing as Satan, you really want to be mindful of local wildlife.

So the council helpfully provided a list of Halloween dos and don’ts …