Up, Up and Adam

The Greens leader is entirely unaffected by the climate crisis he keeps warning us about

Greens leader Adam Bandt never tires of warning us that the planet is facing an existential threat.

Our reckless use of fossil fuels has altered the climate to the point where nothing less than the survival of humanity is now at stake, he says.

And I believe him.

I mean, he’s a politician, so of course I believe him. If Adam says we are in a climate crisis then things must be really, REALLY bad.

Having heeded his call to do everything in our power to forestall an ecological disaster, I have taken up recycling with a passion.

Every day I carefully seperate my paper and plastics from my food scraps, and place them in the appropriate bins.

It’s a pain, but global boiling - which Adam has warned us about - sounds pretty painful too.

I have also given up eating red meat and instead started feeding on insects.

I don’t like eating bugs. But Adam assures me that I’ll like climate breakdown even less.

I now choose to walk rather than drive most places in order to keep my emissions low. And when I walk I try not to breathe out too often.

I mean, one really can’t do enough to help Adam and the Greens to keep global temperatures at a reasonable level.

So, having gone to all this effort, imagine my surprise to learn that Adam himself seems to have been singularly unaffected by the climate crisis.

Yep. While we’ve been feeling guilty about driving and trying desperately not to break wind in the mornings less that puff of wind is the methane that pushes our world to the point of no return, Adam has been flying around the country in a private jet!

Private jets are the worst polluting of all transportation options. But that hasn’t stopped Up, up and Adam!

He’s been using them like Ubers. Climate criminal!

Expense documents from 2022 show that Adam flew in a private jet from Townsville to Rockhampton on March 7 to give a speech on the evils of fossil fuels.

The irony is thick on that one!

Why didn’t we see extinction rebellion on the roof of their hero’s private charter jet?

And then, in December of that same year, Adam flew from Canberra to Brisbane in a private jet to launch his environmental party’s election campaign.

The campaign, naturally, focused on what we ought ban in order to reduce harmful emissions.

All up the Greens’ leader - who demonises billionaires and their excessive lifestyles at every chance he gets - billed the taxpayer $23,000 for his private jet use.

The Canberra to Brisbane flight cost $15,000. Help me. Is it Adam Bandt, or is it Adam Bandit?

Virgin could have gotten him there for $300. But he would have needed to sit with the bug-ingesting masses and who wants to do that?

Talk about champagne socialist. And just on that, have you ever seen a poor, down and out socialist leader? No? Nor have I.

If we were really in a climate crisis, Adam wouldn’t be flittering around in private jets. He’d be sitting in cattle class with you and I at worst and doing all meetings via Zoom at best.

But the climate crisis doesn’t seem to affect Adam and his band of merry authoritarians, apart from the enormous cloud of smug that follows him everywhere that is.

The climate crisis only affects you and I, the great unwashed.

Adam Bandt’s crying about a climate crisis is about as genuine as a $3 note. It’s time to put the Green bin out.