Time Gives Kamala a Slobbery Tongue Bath
It's not journalism. It's an in-kind donation to the Democratic Party
It’s all about the vibe. And TikTok. And did I mention the vibe?
There. I saved you the trouble of reading Time Magazine’s 3000 word cover story on Democratic nominee Kamala Harris.
Kamala refused to be interviewed but that didn’t stop Time from running a huge love letter dedicated to the woman they described as a cross between Beyonce and Obama. Seriously.
The fawning article praised Kamala Harris for having …
“ … pulled off the swiftest vibe shift in modern political history.”
Yeah, man. It’s crazy. She’s like, so fleek.
'And did you know that the Democratic nominee has …
“ … dominated TikTok”
I know. So cool. All the kids are scrolling.
The thing about Kamala Harris is that she is …
“ … offering a fresh message focused on the future over the past.”
Don’t ask me what that means beyond the fact that we don’t talk about her past, and that we have no idea what a future America might look like under Harris because she won’t talk to journalists.
But Time Magazine don’t need a sit down interview with the woman who would become America’s first black President (or is it America’s first Asian President) when they can simply quote her at length.
Like this …
“Our campaign is a fight for the future.”
Makes sense. Where can I get 100 ballot forms?
The article, to be fair, does mention that many people thought Kamala Harris would never be up to it.
But we are quickly told that is because “geriatric” President Joe Biden gave her thankless tasks that he didn’t want to do. And it’s because people underestimated her.
Yep, they weren’t counting on her ability to post “viral memes” and “eye roll at Republican ‘weirdos’”.
“Harris has already done what no Trump opponent has ever been able to do: snatch the spotlight away from him.”
With memes and eye-rolls and school yard name calling.
I remember when Time Magazine was a serious publication. Actually, no I don’t.
They quote a congressmen who tells readers that Kamala Harris is …
“A Jedi Master”
At this point I must admit that I said to myself: “What am I even reading?!”
We are assured that Kamala Harris is no “overnight sensation” as if she is a sensation.
And she must be.
“Celebrities like Charli XCX and Megan Thee Stallion came out in support of Harris.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m sold.
I take most of my political cues from rappers.
The Time Magazine journalists assure us …
“Now the moment is finally hers.”
Not convinced? A union leader (UAW’s Shawn Fain) called Kamala …
“A badass woman”
George Washington would be rolling in his grave.
Speaking of rolling in their graves, Time Magazine’s co-founders Henry Luce and Briton Hadden would be spinning. That their once great magazine has been reduced to a TikTok reel on paper.
The article concludes, as you would expect, with sharp analysis from two political commentators you’ve never heard of and will likely never hear of again.
David Hogg, co-founded of a Gen Z political organisation told Time …
“Elections come down to vibes, and Kamala has got the vibes right now.”
Yep. He certainly does head up a Gen Z organisation.
But the final word went to Leanne Weiner a 39-year-old who caught the eye of Time’s intrepid reporters because she was wearing a “Childless Cat Ladies for Harris T-shirt as she waited in line for chicken fingers at the massive Philadelphia rally”.
Like you, dear reader, I could hardly wait to hear what insight the childless moggie lover could give on the vagaries of the US Presidential election.
“The whole vibe just shifted.”
Incredible.
By the way, just for comparison, when Time Magazine did a write-up on Donald Trump, the cover looked like this …
Do you think Time Magazine is campaigning for Harris?
Most of the MSM is. They’re not even pretending they aren’t at this point.
The article was essentially an in-kind contribution to the DNC.
I remember, many years ago, being so excited when someone gifted me a 12 month subscription to Time. These days I’m only reading it so that you don’t have to.
You can thank me in the comments.
Zero policy positions. Zero interviews. Zero self-awareness. Zero support from her own party when they last held nominations. A woman who has a fawning media running cover for her ineptitude, with an ethnicity even she can't settle on and big on vibe. This is what the best candidate the Democrats have to offer looks like in 2024.
Good luck America. You're gonna need it.
Along with your readers, I rthank you for yor dissertation on the article in Time magazine. They had a cover photo of Hitler in 1936 and 1938 as well and look what happened! There is a huge divide in the world today which is exactly what Satan wants and I see it everywhere, including families. Kamala Harris looks like an Indian on that cover photo (a red one that is). God help us all if she gets over the line and wins!