Tick Tock Boom Boom

This is satire. Any likeness to political figures is all in your head.

Muslim leaders have warned that ugly scenes during Anthony Albanese’s visit to Lakemba Mosque last Friday will fuel Islamophobia.

Lebanese Jihad Association president Mohammad Tick Tock Boom Boom said he was upset that Muslim men were being blamed for the way in which Muslim men had abused the PM.

“The well deserved abuse heaped on the infidel Prime Minister of the Great Satan’s helper had nothing to do with Islam,” he said.

“While the Holy Koran refers to Jews as putrid dogs, there is nothing in the Koran denoting the karfir from Canberra as a putrid dog. Or as a monkey.”

He insisted that Islam was a religion that respected others, before adding …

“Jews are monkeys though. That’s a scientific fact.”

Mohammad Tick Tock Boom Boom said the angry abuse shouted at Australia’s Prime Minister was “not at all representative of the Muslim community”.

Pressed further on what would constitute representative behaviour, he paused before replying: “Ideally, something more threatening”.

The Lebanese Jihad Association boss said his community was upset because Islamophobia had increased 5000 percent since the Bondi terror attacks.

When asked to explain “Islamophobia”, Mohammad Tick Tock Boom Boom said it was “when infidels notice patterns”.

“You know … Manchester, Belgium, 9-11, London Bridge, Bondi … people start to draw conclusions. That’s Islamophobic.”

Mohammad Tick Tock Boom Boom then abruptly ended the press conference to go and chair a social cohesion committee set up by Assistant Minister for Multiculturalism and Civilisational Death Julian Hill.

Meanwhile, Martyrs R Us assistant secretary, Mohammad Tucker Carlson Akbar Jihad said those who abused the PM as he celebrated the end of Ramadan were “not real Muslims” …