The Ayatollah's 'Surprise of the Century' Turns Out to be a Fizzer

In fairness, the Ayatollah’s prediction wasn’t entirely wrong. The world will remember last night - but mostly as a punchline.

The Ayatollah of Iran tweeted this picture yesterday morning with the caption …

“Tonight will bring a surprise the world will remember for centuries.”

You have to love that. Nothing says “ancient theocratic menace” like passive-aggressive tweeting. But I digress.

The Ayatollah was right, though.

Historians will indeed mark last night down as the moment the Islamic Republic surprised everyone by revealing they had no surprises whatsoever.

As Israeli fighter jets turned Iranian air defenses into modern art installations, Tehran’s much-hyped “centuries-defining” moment turned out to be ... a blackout.

Not metaphorically. It was a literal blackout. You can read about it here. Tehran went dark and the internet shut down.

When your nuclear enrichment facilities are flattened and your missile sites glow like birthday candles, your grid gets a bit twitchy.

Surprise!

Naturally, Iran’s Ministry of Propaganda immediately took to the airwaves to clarify …

“The Ayatollah was clearly referring to the spiritual surprise that comes from being caught completely off guard despite weeks of chest-thumping bravado.”

This is not the first time Tehran has oversold the fireworks …

Who could forget “Operation Crushing Thunder,” which turned out to be four bottle rockets fired into the desert and a sternly worded op-ed in Al Jazeera?

Or what about “Day of Sacred Vengeance,” which ended when a rogue drone veered off course and hit a kebab stand in Qom?

In fairness, the Ayatollah’s prediction wasn’t entirely wrong …