Penny Wong Unites the Country - By Pissing Off Everybody

Wong's deft touch - by which I mean her total abandonment of moral clarity - has become a unifying touchstone for all Australians

Thank God for Penny Wong.

At a time when the social fabric was badly frayed and social cohesion was at an all time low, the nation desperately needed a unifier; someone who could bring Australians together.

Enter the foreign minister, who has managed to singlehandedly unite the entire country by singlehandedly pissing off absolutely everybody.

Depending on how you see things, Penny Wong is either a morally bankrupt political hack who wouldn’t know a principle if it bit her on the ass.

Or, she is the nation’s healer.

A woman whose deft touch - by which I mean her total abandonment of moral clarity - has become a unifying touchstone for all Australians.

By carefully walking both sides of the West Bank fence, Penny Wong has been able to piss off Jews who just want to get through another day without being beheaded.

And she has pissed off Muslims who just want to take one more Israeli hostage.

But she didn’t stop there.

She has successfully pissed off the rest of the country who simply want to be able to walk through the CBD at the weekend without having a terrorist flag rammed down their throats.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde “To lose one Abrahamic faith may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose three looks like carelessness.”

In Penny Wong’s case, it is all part of her brilliant plan to bring the country together.

Australians all let us rejoice for (thanks to Penny Wong) we are One.

Say what you like about the lesbian foreign minister who believes Palestinians should have their own state in which to kill members of the LGBTQ community - she knows how to get around her.

Name one other politician in this country so hopelessly inept, er, I mean so brilliantly skilful, that they could unite such disparate groups of people.

Wong’s strategy is simple, but she has used it to devastating effect.

By insisting Israel has a right to defend itself she pisses off the Muslims.

And then, by cleverly chastising Israel every time they defend themselves, she pisses off the Jews.

Suddenly Muslims and Jews alike all want her chased out of the Senate.

It begs the question as to whether Penny Wong is being wasted in Canberra.

Is it time for the United Nations to send Penny Wong direct to the Middle East where she could be left so that Jews and Muslims could rally together in disgust?

Instead of advocating for peace, Penny Wong could herself be the peace process.

What neither Clinton, nor Bush, nor Trump, nor Biden have been able to do, Wong might just accomplish if only enough people could be exposed to her duplicity.

Meanwhile, Lebanese Muslim Association secretary Gamel Kheir explained today why so many of his mosque buddies hate Penny Wong.

He said it was strange that Senator Wong appeared to care more about the display of Hezbollah flags in Sydney protests at the weekend than about what was happening in Lebanon.

You see, this is why we love the Lebanese Muslim Association. Who else could point out that Australian politicians should quit worrying about home grown terror and concentrate on supporting terrorists oversees.

Gamel continued …

“The government rushed to condemn Russia, (has previously) rushed to condemn China, but tiptoes around Israel.”

I can’t believe he forgot to compare Israel to North Korea. But I digress.

In other news, Anthony Albanese has described rallies in Melbourne and Sydney at which Muslim protestors waved terrorist flags as “worrying signs”.

Flags, Prime Minister, not signs. He can’t even get that right.

Weirdly, the Hezbollah flag was flown on the steps of the Sydney Opera House in the aftermath of the October 7 attacks.

It’s a worrying sign that the PM has taken almost a year to be worried that people his government has allowed into the country are expressing support on our streets for murderous jihadis.

The Prime Minister told journalists …

“We’ve seen worrying signs over the weekend. We do not want people to bring radical ideologies and conflict here. Our multiculturalism and social cohesion cannot be taken for granted.”

Notice that Albanese studiously avoided pointing out what kind of flags represented worrying signs.

Notice also that Albanese carefully avoided naming the radical ideology being promoted on our streets.

And finally, notice that Albanese was concerned to protect “multiculturalism” rather than Australian Jews who are clearly the target of these disgraceful protests.

Can we all agree that Anthony Albanese is a weak-as-piss leader?

See! Even more unity!