Of Course the Left Are Grooming Your Kids

(Note: This is graphic. But don't get angry at me. I'm just telling you what they're telling your kids)

Leftist progressives are not sexually grooming your children, no matter how many times they cheer as drag queens prance naked before your kids.

I know you’ve heard sexually uptight conservative commentators complain about the so-called sexualisation of children, but they only complain because they don’t like talking to kiddies about sex like Lefties do.

Leftists love to discuss sex with minors, but only ever in a way that is tasteful and respectful, like rough name-calling porn between consenting parties.

To demonstrate just how benign the Left are when talking to your children about the sensitive topic of sex, I am going to share with you exerts from a newly released children’s book now available at major department stores in Australia including Big W and Target.

I am quite certain this frolic into an easily available book promoted by major Australian retailers will completely set your mind at ease.

You will never again be disturbed by the ridiculous idea that somehow your kids are being preyed upon by sexual perverts intent on robbing them of their innocence and destroying their futures.

So settle in with your kiddies as together we enjoy a bed time story, the delightful “Welcome to Sex” by Dr Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes.

And don’t be put off by the title. I know it mentions sex, but the book is entirely age appropriate, I assure you.

But don’t just take my word for it. Here’s what co-author and teen advice columnist Yumi Stynes had to say, prior to the book’s launch in May.

She said she would “be happy with a mature and smart eight-year-old having a flick through”.

So, pull your children close, and let’s have a ‘flick through’ together, shall we?

The first page of the book says it is written for “apprehensive 11-year-olds” through to “curious 14-year-olds”.

Which is good news for 11-year-olds who are apprehensive about their penis size, because that subject gets a good covering.

And 14-year-olds who are curious about what it might be like to lick their sexual partner’s anus won’t be disappointed with this book either.

It’s all there, in a tastefully illustrated way that makes reading fun. And that’s what we’re really focusing on here. Helping kids to develop a love of reading.

The book reassures kidies that “plenty of penis owners really worry” about their organ’s size. It helpfully encourages those apprehensive 11-year-olds that …

“There’s so much more to giving sexual pleasure than how big your penis is”.

Well, Master Eleven will certainly be relieved to hear that!

Don’t worry. With all this talk of penises, the authors haven’t forgotten your curious 14-year-old who is anxiously awaiting details of butt play.

But before they get to him, they make sure your inquisitive 12-year-old isn’t feeling left out. She’s probably been asking about sexual positions, and if she hasn’t, well she should have been.

Anyway, the book helpfully provides an entire section on “scissoring”.

The book describes it quite nicely …

“Scissoring is when two people intertwine their legs tightly so that their genitals touch, rubbing together. It’s not technically intercourse because nothing is going into a vagina or anus, but it can still be just as stimulating.”

A graphic illustration of what appears to be two naked women (though it’s impossible to be completely sure that one or both are not “penis owners”) scissoring helps the kiddies to see exactly how they can try this at home with their friends.

Think of the money you’ll save buying this book for your kids. It’s so much cheaper than the Karma Sutra, but illustrated just as graphically. And, remember, it’s all about encouraging literacy.

I can sense your 14-year-old getting fidgety. He would rather be out kicking a football with his mates than sitting inside reading educational books. Well, let’s get to him quickly then.

Turn to the page headed: “The lowdown on anal sex”.

“Everyone has an anus! It’s located in a sensitive part of the body, so touching the skin around the anus can be a huge turn-on for people of any gender.”

“You generally want to get started on this kind of sex play after a soapy shower, so that the area is extremely clean.

“One person might tickle or lick the area (called rimming) around the anus before making contact with the actual skin of the butthole with their penis.”

Now there’s a bit of information on how the anus is not as stretchy as the vagina and so lubrication is needed blah, blah, blah. Thankfully, the authors helpfully advise kids on where they can pick up some lube at good prices.

But that’s enough about that. Because I’m sure you’re 13-year-old wants to know about “fingering” …

“Fingering is when one person uses their hands and fingers to touch another person’s vagina … If in doubt, check it out!”

As you’re reading this book to your children, be sure to show them the cartoon depictions of teens involved in sex.

On this particular page there’s a girl depicted in bed with a boy, complaining that …

“Teenage boys are no good at fingering! They jab at you. I don’t think they really understand what they are doing. They’re poking in and hoping for the best.”

That’s obviously quite funny, and we expect the kids will get a real hoot out of it.

Sure, there’s the slight chance that your teenage son might be embarrassed. But the authors’ intent is not to make him feel inadequate, though at 14 he is probably supposed to be.

Fear not. The authors will have him expertly fingering someone or other in no time at all. With this goal in mind, there’s a section devoted to teaching fingering technique. You’ll find it under the none-to-subtle heading: “How do you finger someone?”

I’ll spare you the details here, but rest assured, the book teaches your children about how to finger “vagina owners” (you’ve got to keep open the possibly that some men might have vaginas) in such a way as to pleasure them.

There’s a whole section on “Oral sex” including a detailed description and illustration of “69”. This section is super helpful for kids because so many are confused about it.

Are ‘giving head’ and ‘blow job’ the same thing? And what do you do to their penis? Do you blow into it, or just lick it?

Haha … silly billy! You don’t ‘blow into it’!

Duh!

What follows is a pretty good ‘how-to’ guide on sucking and stroking a penis.

And, importantly, the authors remind the kiddies, though I’m sure they probably already know …

“You can say that you don’t want them to ejaculate into your mouth and make sure you pull your head away when they’re about to come. Or if you’re okay with it, it’s safe to swallow their semen.”

I’m confident every parent would agree that your 11-year-old can’t hear stuff like that too many times.

Speaking of your 11-year-old, it’s possible - though we can’t really imagine it - that your 11-year-old might be a virgin. ROFL!

Thankfully the book certainly won’t stigmatised your frigid, sexually backward kid if they are a virgin. And the book is guaranteed to ensure they don’t feel like they ought to remain a virgin. Throughout the pages there are lots of encouragements to try things out. With consent, of course. Woohoo!

Anyway, the book tells those kids yet to pop the cherry that …

“Virginity is an outdated concept. The word virginty should be erased from the dictionary.”

I know what you’re thinking. This is all great material for pre-teens, but hasn’t something been forgotten?

What about handjobs, or, as the authors like to write for the kiddies, “pulling someone off”.

Relax. There’s a whole section describing it, and there’s even illustrations showing how best to do it.

There’s a lot more in Welcome to Sex, but let me just finish with one final thing which, as you’ll appreciate it, is very, very important and that you won’t want your children to miss.

The authors have made sure to include a section on “sexual and gender identity”.

It would be a sin for your kids to finish a book such as this and not have at least the thought planted in their mind, like a seed that can slowly germinate and grow over time, that they may be trans, or gay, or pansexual.

How inclusive and diverse would that be!

So, in conclusion, you should now be feeling reassured that the progressive Left have absolutely no designs on your kids. They are neither sexualising them, nor grooming them. Not even a bit.

And if you believe that … you’re not only incredibly stupid, you’re part of the problem.