Of All the Things that Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen the Most

Just when you thought no-one could possibly be worse than Justin Trudeau, along comes Chrystia Freeland.

Canada’s former Deputy Prime Minister is running to replace Trudeau as Prime Minister.

I’ll let her explain why …

“A few weeks ago I met a little four-year-old girl. She asked me whether I could prevent Trump from invading our country.

“And that’s why I am standing to lead the liberal party and to become the next Prime Minister of Canada.”

Ah, four-year-olds! Always worrying about geopolitics.

It actually reminds me of a time my 3-year-old struck up a conversation with me about Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, and how it profoundly affected his view of kindy.

What I find strange is that Freehand’s imagined toddler didn’t ask about her government freezing truckers’ bank accounts during the pandemic.

Maybe the kid had to go poop.

Or perhaps the four-year-old only started talking politics after realising the former Deputy PM was never going to be any good at playing dolls - unable, as she is, to distinguish Ken from Barbie.

The story is a lie, as anyone who has ever met a four-year-old well knows.

But just imagine for a moment that it is true …