IF / THEN

Because ideas have consequences ...

IF …

You’re wondering why Kamala Harris won 92.5 percent of the vote in Washington DC

THEN …

Wonder know more.

Trump has made good on his promise to appoint Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to head up the Department of Government Efficiency.

Trump has given them until July 4, 2026 to cut waste from a federal bureaucracy that costs American taxpayers $6.5 trillion a year.

This will send shockwaves through the entire bureaucracy, and anyone involved in Government waste, which is a LOT of people!

And Musk is already relishing the task. He tweeted …

All actions of the Department of Government Efficiency will be posted online for maximum transparency.

Anytime the public thinks we are cutting something important or not cutting something wasteful, just let us know!

We will also have a leaderboard for most insanely dumb spending of your tax dollars. This will be both extremely tragic and extremely entertaining

Trump and Musk are going to cut costs and Make America Fun Again!

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IF …

You think the problem is that Governments tax us too much

THEN …

You might want to consider that maybe it’s even worse than that. Having taxed us, they then light our cash on fire!

Consider some of the absurdities the US government has spent taxpayer money on …

•$1.5 Million studying the effects of yoga on goats

•$1.7 billion maintaining empty buildings

•$5 million on a campaign to promote an alternative music scene to get hipsters to stop smoking

•$2 million to create an internship program that resulted in the hiring of one full-time employee at the Department of Agriculture

•In 2021 alone, the government managed to misplace $281 billion in payments

•$1 million studying the effects of music on dairy cows

•$1.7 million to study the effects of alcohol on fish

We could go on and on.

By the way, when Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy are done sorting out the US bureaucracy, can we have them spend 12 months in Canberra?

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IF …

NSW government bureaucrats took three months to draw up this flow chart - requested by the Premier - to explain how the state’s housing approval system works

THEN …

Is it any wonder getting a house approved, and built, in NSW takes forever?

The flowchart shows 27 different approval stages with as many as 50 individual steps that builders must go through.

Regulations are strangling this country. I can’t imagine how many approvals that flow chart had to go through.

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IF …

You already knew that United Nations climate conferences were a complete joke

THEN …

You won’t be surprised to learn that the Taliban are special guests at this week’s event in Azerbaijan.

Yep, a month after making a law to stop women speaking in public, the terrorist group are now sitting down at a table with our own Energy Minister Chris Bowen to talk about slashing throats emissions.

It begs the question, why is it only the Taliban? Where is Hamas for Lower Emissions and ISIS for Climate Action? What about the Hezbollah Action Group for the Prevention of Rising Sea Levels?

It’s crazy.

The Taliban’s Environment Spokesman said Afghanistan had prepared a national action plan to deal with climate change and would be updating its climate goals within the next few months.

But first they had to kill infidels and oppress more women.

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IF …

Jill and Joe Biden spent four years calling your husband a Nazi and then ordered the FBI to search your underwear draw for classified documents

THEN …

You probably wouldn’t join Dr Jill for morning tea at the White House either.

Melania Trump skipped the cosy get-together this morning, preferring to be absolutely anywhere else.

The Democrats, of course, had the temerity to criticise Trump’s wife for breaking with correct protocol.

And that made me laugh.

Protocol?

What do the Democrats - who have used every trick in the book (and then some) in a bid to demonise, bankrupt, jail or kill their political opponent - know of correct protocol?

Forgive. But never forget!

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IF …

CNN and MSNBC spent years promising viewers there was no way Donald Trump would ever be re-elected only for Trump to be re-elected in a landslide

THEN …

Is it any wonder those propaganda networks have no viewers left?

Back in 2016 CNN’s election coverage attracted 13m viewers. Last week they had just 5m people tune in, and half of those would have been conservatives wanting to see some Lefty tears.

CNN have just announced they will be cutting staff. And this comes after they cut 3 percent of staff back in February.

Meanwhile, over at MSNBC, their prime time audience has fallen by more than 50 percent since election night while the Fox network viewership is up by more than 60 percent.

I can’t imagine why.

Could it be that people don’t want to turn on the TV to be told how racist and sexist they are?

Kamala Harris wasn’t the biggest loser on November 6. It was the mainstream progressive media.

They are liars and frauds and even low information media consumers know it to be true.

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IF …

You think CNN have learned their lesson

THEN …

Think again. Having spent years lying to viewers, now they are gaslighting them.

Hilariously, they came out with this story …

Trump’s win was real but not a landslide

I love that they needed to tell their viewers that Trump’s victory was “real”.

That’s how confidently CNN had told people there was no way Trump could prevail. They now have to remind their audience that they are not hallucinating. Trump really did win.

And here’s the gaslighting … he won, but it wasn’t a landslide!

Oh, of course not.

I mean, he only won the greatest number of Electoral College votes of any Republican in the last 30 years.

And he only won the greatest number of popular votes of any Republican in history.

And he only won the House and the Senate and all seven swing states.

And the margin was sooo tight that Trump had to literally wait a couple of hours after polls closed before media organisations were declaring him the winner.

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IF …

Public servants were already unpopular

THEN …

They are about to become wildly unpopular.

It was revealed this morning that public servant pay rises were now higher than private sector pay rises. Remember, the public service doesn’t actually produce anything!

And worse, because we are paying public servants so much money economists now say it will delay any interest rate relief until at least August next year.

Since coning into office, the Albanese Government has employed 26,000 additional public servants on contracts the private sector can only dream about.

Talk about creating a large, overindulged, underperforming, privileged class whose main achievement is to suck the life out of the economy and the Australian taxpayer.

And what do we get? High interest rates.

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IF …

You don’t think Chinese strongman Xi Jinping is funny

THEN …

Think again. He’s bloody hilarious.

His Communist Party has just called on developed countries, including Australia, to transfer more than $1.8 trillion a year to developing nations because … climate change.

Here’s the punchline …

China is not legally expected to contribute to the fund because it is considered a developing country.

Somebody help me. I can’t breathe for the laughter.

The Chinese have a space station for goodness sakes! But they’re still a developing country.

Developing arrogance, it seems!

Oh, and China is the biggest emitter of carbon in the world!

Trump is set to pull out of the climate agreement. Why wouldn’t he.

Meanwhile, our Energy Minister Chris Bowen is there with his calculator, working out how much of our money he can give away to change the weather, or something.

You see, that’s the thing about Chinese humour. The joke is always on us.

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IF …

My beloved North Melbourne football team is, in the words of President Sonya Hood, “aiming to be a team that beats anyone, anywhere”

THEN …

Maybe we should start by aiming to be a team that can beat anyone at all.

We have won 15 of our last 107 games.

I know you don’t care. But it’s a miracle I’m not in regular therapy.

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IF …

NSW Housing Minister Rose Jackson reckons it’s possible to rent a two-bedroom apartment in Sydney for "a couple of hundred bucks" a week

THEN …

She proves just how out of touch our politicians are.

The median rental price for a unit in Sydney was $720 a week.

In the past four months just 23 two-bedroom apartments have been rented out for $200 per week or less in Greater Sydney. That’s out of 25,000 bonds lodged for two-bedroom places.

If Jackson reckons she can find a 2-bedroom place for $200, then NSW police should engage her services to find missing persons. She’d have ever case solved by midday.

Imagine having so little idea about a government portfolio you were running. Poor fellow, my country.