IF / THEN
My reflex responses when reading the papers this morning ...
IF …
The last four years was a picture …
THEN …
There you go.
IF …
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese reacted to the fire bombing of a Melbourne Synagogue by noting …
“Anti-Semitism is something that has been around for a long period of time.”
THEN …
How the hell are Jewish Australians meant to take any comfort from that? It’s a shrug. It’s a weary waving of the hand.
Imagine if he had reacted to the rape of a woman by noting that “women being raped is nothing new.”
Anti-Semitism has been around for a long time, but not in Australia, not like this.
IF …
The Australian Government means it when they say they will not tolerate anti-Semitism …
THEN …
Why do they continue to tolerate anti-Semitism?
IF …
Islamic groups want us to trust them …
THEN …
They need to do a hell of a lot better than this.
The Australia Palestine Advocacy Network branded the firebombing as a racist attack “rooted in anti-Semitism”.
So far so good.
“Attacks on religious institutions have no place in our community.”
Wait. They went from “anti-Semitism” to “religious institutions” … Oh, I see where this is going.
“Racist attacks rooted in anti-Semitism, Islamophobia or anti-Palestinian racism must be opposed and condemned in equal measure. Our thoughts are with the Jewish community and all those impacted by these acts.”
Suddenly the firebombing of a Jewish Synagogue is cause for warnings about “Islamophobia and anti-Palestinian racism”.
And this is why I continually question the sincerity of Islamic groups in this country.
IF …
A mosque had been firebombed while Muslims were inside worshipping …
THEN …
We would have seen immediate and fierce action from the Albanese Government. Tell me I’m Wong.
IF …
You’re having trouble understanding how Labor could have trashed our relationship with Israel in such quick time …
THEN …
Consider senior Government minister Ed Husic this week literally begging the Muslim community to vote Labor at the next election.
He was at pains to reassure Muslims that Labor is doing its darnedest to “advocate” for Palestinian sovereignty.
This government literally rewards terrorism if they suspect it could get them an extra vote.
IF …
The number of Australian school children now identifying as neither male nor female is increased 20 fold in the past five years …’
THEN …
Is this not cause for massive alarm? Is it there something in the water? What’s going on?
Data released by the Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority reveals that at least 2560 students enrolled as non-binary last year – up from 128 in 2019.
What’s going on?
IF …
The NSW Department of Education is going to start determining which sports transgendered kids can and can’t participate in depending on the collision level …
THEN …
Are we to now assume that is how we determine male from female?
If a male identifying as female wishes to play rugby then he is a male and cannot play. But if that same male identifying as female wishes to play tennis then he is female and able to take the court against other girls.
So the answer to “Are you a boy or a girl” who become “That depends on which sport I’m playing.”
What a mess.
IF …
It hadn’t been for questions asked by The Daily Telegraph …
THEN …
Foreign brothel keepers would have continued to be prioritised for visas to Australia in order to fill job shortages.
I’m not joking.
Our Government’s Core Skills Occupation List (CSOL), released earlier this week, revealed that foreign brothel workers were among those eligible for temporary skilled migration to Australia.
Immigration Minister Tony Burke’s office confirmed the list would be amended to exclude brothel managers after the Daily Telegraph asked questions.
IF …
If an economic seminar held in Sydney at the weekend is anything to go by …
THEN …
Maybe there is a religious revival underway in Australia. A panel of 40 economists and experts were asked for their one piece of economic advice for the year ahead.
Professor of Economics at the University of NSW, Richard Holden, replied with one just word …
“Pray.”
So there you go. The Albanese Government isn’t all bad. They are turning people towards God.
IF …
You think the education system in this country is failing our kids …
THEN …
Spare a thought for the Brits. Markings on a road in Gloucestershire had to be replaced after “Keep Clear” was spelt “Ceep Klear”.
To make matters worse, the misspelt markings were only a short distance from a school.
Obviously, the original painters were the kool cids at school.
IF …
The ABC is serious about this headline …
“Rooftop solar can at times meet more than half of the total demand across the national electricity market”
THEN …
The phrase “at times” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting!
What does “at times" even mean.
Like sometimes?
Like for minutes here and there?
Above is a photo of experts the ABC interviewed for their article.
IF …
You remember how American journalist Sam Mena Jr lit his own arm on fire back in October to protest the war in Gaza …
THEN …
You’ll be fascinated to hear he is now giving talks on how his protest led to him losing his job.
He tweeted today …
In October, I marched to the White House and lit my arm on fire to protest our governments role assisting in the crime of genocide. As a result, I lost my job as a photojournalist for a CBS affiliate. I’ll be live on Instagram Saturday 5pmPST to discuss EVERYTHING. #CeasefireNOW
You can’t partially self-immolate and then complain when they …fire …you.
I’ll be here all week.
IF …
The assassin who murdered a Health Insurance CEO on the street in New York a few days back hadn’t momentarily removed his face covering in order to flirt with a girl at the hostel in which he had stayed under a false name …
THEN …
He could probably have been assured of never being caught.
Instead, police now have a clear picture of his face. And even worse, he’s been totally friend zoned.
I’ll be co-hosting OUTSIDERS at 9am tomorrow on Sky News and then backing it up at 8pm on DANICA AND JAMES. I’d love you to tune if you can.
Have a great weekend and thanks for reading.
James
“You can’t partially self-immolate and then complain when they …fire …you.
I’ll be here all week.”
James. That has to be one of the funniest pearls of wisdom you have ever written and it will keep me amused for a long time to come. Keep ’em coming.😂😂
Thank you James - you never cease to enlighten me on what’s going on, but I am gobsmacked at some of these light bulbs presented and brilliantly by the way. Hard to imagine how so many so called high fliers can get so much wrong. Thank you for picking up these pearls and letting me in on your amazing thoughts about life. I think I have reached ostrich status, so I do need you around James. Stay safe our ‘fearless keyboard warrior’.