IF / THEN
Get up-to-date on the news of the day with my punchy summary ...
IF …
Just Stop Oil protestors covered Stone Henge in orange paint to protest fossil fuels …
THEN …
They are the stupidest climate protestors we’ve seen so far! A 500-year-old construction built using manual labour is hardly a symbol of fossil fuel use. The vandals used more fuel just getting there to protest!
IF …
Nuclear energy is “dangerous” and “deadly” like Victorian Energy Minister Lila D’Ambrosio claimed yesterday …
THEN …
How does she explain the amazing luck Sydney has had hosting the Lucas Heights Reactor without incident since 1958?
IF …
Victorian Premier Jactina Allen says she won’t allow a “toxic nuclear power” to affect some people in her State …
THEN …
Why did she mandate a toxic vaccine for everyone in her State?
IF …
Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un have met up this week …
THEN …
Do you think they had a chuckle over the fact that, while they were planning world domination, the White House was busy celebrating the 20th anniversary of TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?
IF …
School children are already being politicised in the classroom …
THEN …
Can you imagine how bad schools would be if the Greens were ever successful in their bid to lower the voting age to 16?
IF …
Pro-Palestinians have fire bombed the office of Jewish Labor politician Josh Burns in a bid to intimidate him into back off from his support for Israel …
THEN …
Why has it not been labelled a terrorist attack?
IF …
Seven News accuses Tucker Carlson - who has just arrived in Australia for a speaking tour - of “targeting immigrants” because he opposes open borders and “targeting women” because he points out the inanity of US Vice President Kamala Harris …
THEN …
Can Channel Seven be trusted not to twist anything?
IF …
Anthony Albanese is now the third highest paid leader in the world thanks to a pay rise that pushes his income to $587,000, an amount above even that of the US President and the UK Prime Minister …
THEN …
Should we actually be getting something for our money?
IF …
Australia embraces nuclear energy as Peter Dutton plans, or remains committed to renewables as Anthony Albanese says we must …
THEN …
Do you think the weather will care?
IF …
State Premiers like Stephen Miles in Queensland and Jacinta Allen in Victoria are running around screaming that they will not permit nuclear energy in their states …
THEN …
Should should someone sit them down and teach them about the Australian constitution?
IF …
Labor Senator Fatima Payman is attempting to use her position to have Palestine recognised as a State while still run by registered terrorist organisation Hamas …
THEN …
Should she not be charged with supporting a terrorist organisation?
IF …
Hamas start a war, as they did on October 7 …
THEN …
Should they now be allowed to complain that they are losing the war?
IF …
This is the level of conversation you get on a Teal group chat …
THEN …
Are we really surprised that they’ve contributed absolutely zero since being elected to Parliament?
Good one James, interesting format.
IF we had a strong moral government
THEN maybe we wouldn’t be living in this poo-storm inverted world we find ourselves in.
IF we didn’t have the evil Greens
THEN life here would maybe be rosy.
IF we could turn around the breakdown of family & religious values
THEN we could return to a more respectful & civilised life.
IF ONLY…
Good one. If only we had sensible people in parliament.