How to Speak Hamas

Your leftie guide to understanding the language of terror

I have recently discovered that I don’t speak Hamas.

It hit me when I noticed that ABC commentators and pro-Palestinian activists seem to always hear things differently to me.

And that’s when I realised they must have an ability to understand Islamic terrorists that I clearly lack.

For instance, when Islamic terrorists say they want to destroy Israel and kill all the Jews, I understand them to mean that they want to destroy Israel and kill all the Jews.

But that’s only because I don’t speak fluent Hamas. And because of the language barrier, I keep misunderstanding what they say.

That’s why I now rely on news outlets like the ABC and CNN to tell me what Hamas members are actually saying.

Thanks to the progressive left I now understand, for instance, that when Hamas terrorists say …

“We will not stop until we destroy Israel and kill all the Jews”

What they really mean is …

“All we want is peace!”

I would never have known that, had it not been for our friends in the mainstream media.

I’m guessing though, that I’m not the only one who doesn’t speak Hamas.

Many of my dear readers probably don’t speak Hamas either.

So as gift to help out all of my paid subscribers, I have (with the help of my left leaning friends at the ABC, the BBC and CNN) created this special guide to help you speak Hamas and it’s sister dialect Terrorism.

Let’s begin with one of the easy ones.

Leftists know (and after this instruction manual you will know too) that when Hamas insist …

“No filthy homosexuals will ever be allowed into Gaza!”

What Hamas is really trying to say is …