Daniel Andrews has just released a statement defending his decision to attend a Chinese Communist Party military parade in Beijing.
Spoiler: it’s every bit as convincing as you’d expect. (Insert massive eye roll here)
And no, this is not satire.
Dan Andrews statement begins …
“I was invited to Beijing for the 80th anniversary of China’s victory over Japan in World War II.”
Ah yes. The old “they invited me” defence.
Because when Beelzebub invites you for cocktails in hell, etiquette demands that you accept.
‘It’s not MY fault I was associating with the world’s worst people. They INVITED me!’
My kids used to come up with better lines than that.
Then came the justification …
“I’ve said for years that a constructive relationship with China - our largest trading partner - is in Australia’s national interest and hundreds of thousands of Australian jobs depend on it. That hasn’t changed.”
So Dan Andrews was there representing the national interest?
I thought he was there as a private citizen.
You can’t have it both ways.
Frankly, that statement creates more confusion … about exactly what capacity his role at the parade was.
But whichever hat he was wearing, it apparently came with a complimentary VIP seat at a dictatorship’s pep rally.
Next, he tries the distraction tactic …
“It was a chance to meet and engage with regional leaders - like former New Zealand prime ministers John Key and Helen Clark, Malaysian Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim and of course Chinese President Xi.
I love how he throws in a couple of New Zealand Prime Ministers to try and distract from the dictators. Although, to be fair, I’m not sure Helen Clarke is much of a distraction from dictators!
Nothing screams “perfectly normal company” like name-dropping John Key to camouflage the fact you were clinking glasses with Xi Jinping and the Vladimir Putin.
‘Why was I consorting with the President of Iran just days after it was revealed Iran had launched attacks in Australia against Australians? Oh, look over there – Helen Clarke!!!!
Then came the big concession:
“We also shared an official photograph.”
Yes Dan. Yes, you did.
You posed for a family portrait with all the worst people on the planet.
But in fairness, the lighting was excellent.
Finally - sensing the optics were roughly as good as a handshake with Stalin - Dan Andrews tried to reassure us that he still had a moral compass …
“Just so there’s no confusion – I have condemned Putin … my support for Israel and Australia’s Jewish community has been outspoken … and I unequivocally condemn Iran for its attacks on Australia, Israel and elsewhere in the world.”
Wonderful.
He condemns dictators and terrorists on Tuesday, then lines up for selfies with them on Wednesday.
In Dan’s world, evil is bad - unless it lays out a red carpet and provides dumplings.
You know it makes sense.
I think he is roaming around looking for friends. He is so hated in this country, he wasn't even allowed to join a golf club! He has thrown his towel in with the rest of the world's dictators. Pity he came back home
People like Dictator Dan are astoundingly tone deaf and morally bankrupt. The ignoring of actual history by Andrews, Keys and Clarke is astonishing. It was a wonder Ardern wasn’t there or King Charles! Even they had the sense to stay away. The communists had nothing to do with defeating the Japanese. This was nothing to do with that event in history. But then that is stating the bleeding obvious.