Boomerangs at 30 Paces as Freeway Opening Delayed

Another reason to vote 'No'

The opening of a $232 million dollar section of Perth freeway was held up at the weekend by a couple of Aborigines arguing over who would be paid for lighting twigs and weeds in a tin.

Transport Minister Rita Saffioti was on hand to declare the road open just as soon as the now mandatory Indigenous smoking ceremony was performed.

But the event was delayed when traditional owners started arguing about which traditional owners were authorised to light the fire and collect the couple of hundred dollars taxpayers now fork out to traditional owners for warding off evil spirits.

Just as the fire was about to be lit, an Indigenous man dressed in the traditional Chicago Bulls Number 23 NBA top interrupted, complaining …

“I don’t think these people, coming out here, thinking that youse fellas could say this, say that on this land …”

The Transport Minister scurried away, hiding in the crowd, while a second Indigenous man dressed in the more typical Aboriginal dot painting apparel countered …

I don’t need permission off you or anyone else

Michael Jordan shot back …

Either do I

To which Dot Painting fellow, hand on his heart, argued …

This is my country too

It was looking like boomerangs at 30 paces.

A reporter asked the Transport Minister what she thought about the turf war as she waited patiently for the small issue of whether Michael Jordan or Dot Painting was best suited to collect the cheque for welcoming Australians to Australia.

“Well it’s very interesting,” she said, before pausing and then observing “obviously there are a lot of Indigenous groups with history in this area,” she said.

Very interesting indeed. The minister couldn’t bring herself to look. (That’s her in the pink, hiding)

It wasn’t an argument over whose land it was, it was a squabble over money.

Michael Jordan settled down when a third Aboriginal stepped in and promised:

“You’ll be included in this, alright?”

Now, if you’re unfamiliar with the local Aboriginal dialect, I believe it meant: “Just keep quiet and we’ll pay you too.”

I’m guessing that’s how the 300 or more Aboriginal tribes will come to speak with one Voice if the Albanese Indigenous Voice to Parliament gets up.

Anyway, the smoking ceremony that Indigenous people have traditionally performed for the opening of multi-lane freeways eventually went ahead.

The Transport Minister and a glad bag of white bureaucrats were eventually able to bow before a deliberately lit fire in a tin while making appropriate hand gestures as if to wave the smoke in the direction of their faces.

Michael Jordan and Dot Painting seemed pleased with this, as well as with the financial arrangements.

And so it was that the freeway was finally opened to traffic.

Now imagine you’re a farmer waiting for local indigenous groups to grant you permission to stick a fence in your paddock. Or imagine the arguments when the government cheque is a few million dollars rather than just a few hundred.

Vote ‘No’ at the referendum on the Voice.