Thousands of students wagged school yesterday to protest One Nation leader Pauline Hanson.
Because apparently, the pressing issue affecting Australian teenagers is not numeracy or literacy. It’s Pauline Hanson.
Then again, judging by some of the signs protesting “Pauline Hansen” … a little more classroom time wouldn’t hurt!
Nah. I’m kidding. Spelling’s over-rated. Ask anyone on skid row.
The kids protested because they believe Pauline Hanson is a hateful, far-right, xenophobic demon.
Or at least, what’s what the kids had been told for the last six months by their year level co-ordinator Mr Lately Wokely.
Mr Wokely is gender non-conforming and has a really cool nose ring, so the kids were convinced he was credible.
The teenagers also protested because they believed that a day chanting inane slogans in the CBD would be much more fun than sitting in a classroom learning algebra.
And besides, their Respectful Relationships teacher Indigo Woke-Bottom had assured them that LGBTQIA+ was about all the algebra they’d ever need.
Anyway, when will they use algebra? Seriously.
But proficiency in chanting slogans will qualify them to one day serve in a Labor Government. Or in the union movement. Or in the pro-Palestinian cause. But I repeat myself.
In Sydney, students converged on the CBD to complain that Pauline Hanson’s hateful rhetoric was ruining civil society.
They demanded a gentler, kinder, more tolerant form of political discourse, chanting in unison …
“Hanson f*** off, Hanson f*** off”
They also gave voice to their concerns that Pauline Hanson lacks empathy when talking about those with whom she disagrees, saying …
“When I say Hanson, you say f*** off. Hanson, f*** off. Hanson, f*** off”
Let me know when you’re starting to sense a theme.
Many of the students said they were angry at Pauline Hanson’s proposed cuts to immigration.
After all, their public-school teacher Bary Class-Struggle had told them cutting immigration was racist.
And the kids knew he was telling the truth when he posted it on TikTok. Which is basically peer-reviewed academia, provided your peers are fourteen-year-olds and the review process involves hitting the like button.
And so, putting to use all the skills they’d learned in the state education system, the kids offered an alternate vision for Australia’s future, chanting at TV reporters …
“F*** of Nazi. F*** off Nazi. F*** off Nazi.”
Now at this point, it’s tempting to drag out a Whitney Houston oldie …
“I believe the children are our future. Treat them well and let them lead the way.”
Actually, it’s NOT that tempting at all. What was Whitney thinking? I digress.
Many of the kids complained that Pauline Hanson was spreading hate when what I think they meant to say was that they were spreading Pauline Hanson hate.
Asked, “Do you hate Pauline Hanson?”
One student said …
“Yes”
A second replied …
“Yeah”
And a third, told journalists …
“Obviously”
And the fourth, going with a response more aligned with the spirit of the day, said …
“Absolutely f***ing yes.”
When asked to explain exactly why they hated Pauline Hanson, they didn’t even need to think.
They just repeated what their social studies teacher, Trotsky McRedpants, told them last Semester.
She’s a racist. Sexist. Far right. Anti-working class. Bigot.
Of course, not all of Mr McRedpants’ students knew the classwork off by heart. But that’s okay because others had written it down.
I heard one girl, asked why she didn’t like Pauline Hanson, reply …
“Just like how she acts and stuff. Like, as my sign says, she is racist, sexist and a Nazi.
“And no one really wants that as a President … or not president, minister?”
And there’s your first lesson in politics young lady. Never deviate from your talking points.
Racist, sexist, Nazi.
If challenged, repeat it.
If asked for evidence, repeat it louder.
Because the important thing isn’t necessarily knowing why you believe something.
It’s knowing that you believe it very, very loudly.
The kids’ ignorance was matched only by their confidence.
One girl told reporters she wanted to …
Stand up for what’s right and show what kids want. And what do kids want? Freedom and more diversity.
Listening to her, it occurred to me that one of the great achievements of modern education is that we’ve managed to produce teenagers who can identify 37 varieties of oppression and 72 genders, but who struggle to make even a single coherent point.
No matter.
Popular Year Seven teacher Ms Chantington taught the kids that provided their nonsense rhymes, it will be treated as a serious argument.
A popular chant at yesterday’s protest was …
Pauline Hanson go to hell, take your racists there as well
Ms Chantington would have been proud. And she’ll surely give a good report of the rhyming chant at the next Teachers Federation meeting.
The student protestors got a lot of media coverage, but I had to admire a Brisbane Channel Seven reporter who desperately tried to put his best spin on the foul mouthed nonsensical protests.
He ended his report with this line …
Pauline Hanson, inspiring a love of politics in the next generation
He was kidding, surely.
I don’t think the kids were protesting yesterday because they love politics.
And I don’t they the kids were protesting yesterday because they hate Pauline Hanson either.
I think the kids were protesting yesterday because the chance to meet up with hundreds of other kids in the city and scream the f-word for an hour sounded a LOT better than sitting in class.
And frankly, I can’t blame them.
If my options at fourteen had been quadratic equations or standing in the CBD shouting random chants while being filmed for television, I’d probably have needed a pretty compelling argument for maths class too.
And I did have a compelling argument. My mum. She would have grounded me for a month if I’d carried on like those kids.
Which I guess is why I never grew up to be a left wing radical.
So, if I’ve never said this … thanks Mum. I owe you one.
These kids are not receiving an education at all just --indoctrination --when I was the age of most of these kids I was in my third year of a five year apprenticeship and when in the construction industry worked with real live grown up MEN not sooky children just out of teachers college where they received THEIR indoctrination A lot of them kids of the depression who lived in tents when their parents survived on the "susso ' (sustenance payments---dole ) and then joined the army to get three feeds a day --and then FIGHT for this country . While no-one would want those days back these little bastards need to go hungry for a week to find out just what a wonderful country we all live in .
What an indictment against an uneducated group of young people! Like you, James, I didn't even know those words growing up. My family would have been horrified if we had used foul language. Another thing, I was taught that when out of school, I represented that school, so had to behave accordingly. I am shocked at today's uncouth youth. though not all are like that. I love your use of applicable names for the mentors of these people. One could write a play about it.