Albo's Housing Australia is Not Housing Any Australians ...

But the offices sure are nice!

“This will be life changing legislation that will help generations of Australians!”

That’s what Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said way back in September when he announced a $10b Housing Australia Future Fund.

The fund, he promised, would - and I quote - “creating a secure, ongoing pipeline of funding for social and affordable rental housing”.

That was 10 months ago. 

So how’s that “secure, ongoing pipeline of social and affordable housing” going?

Well, in the 296 days since the pipeline was announced, not a single house - not one - has been built.

Not even a bungalow. Or a shed. Not even a tepee.

As pipelines go, it’s more of a dead end.

But just because Housing Australia isn’t housing any Australians, doesn’t mean nothing’s happening.

The agency tasked with building houses has spent more than $24m on consultants and $6m on executive salaries.

So, sure you don’t have anywhere to live. But you’ll be pleased to hear that Housing Australia have upgraded their IT systems, and have received some very good legal advice. 

Oh, and the staff at Housing Australia are doing just fine. Thanks for asking.

This seems, increasingly, to be the way things are done in Canberra now.

The Albanese Government makes a grand announcement and commits an eye-watering amount of money.

The money then goes around and around in Canberra, but strangely, never leaves Canberra. 

Finally, the government boasts that because they have spent the money, the commitment has been met. 

Outcomes don’t matter. And they don’t care.

I could give you more examples, but we don’t have time to get into Indigenous affairs.

Billions promised. Millions spent. Nothing delivered. Then our political class pat themselves on the back and ask, “What shall we spend taxpayer money not doing next?

News that Housing Australia had spent money on anything and everything but housing, came just days after warnings that the agency was unlikely to produce a single home in the Government’s entire first term.

This is because the government has stipulated that builders building homes for the home building agency that builds no homes must have particular Workplace Health and Safety accreditation.

And of more than 400,000 construction companies registered in Australia, only around 500 have that particular accreditation.

So what did the government do?

They announced an extra $13.2m in the May budget to help builders get the required piece of paper.

That’s $13.2m more on Housing Australia that won’t produce any houses, but that will provide Workplace Health and Safety certificates for builders who already have Workplace Health and Safety certificates, just not Housing Australia Workplace Heath and Safety certificates.

Obviously, that will boost the number of builders fully accredited to build houses if only Housing Australia were building any.

Oh, and how long does it take for a builder to get the required certification?

Housing experts told The Australian it’s expected to take between 9 and 12 months.

Honestly, Monty Python - on a good day - couldn’t write this stuff.

Speaking of comedy gold … 

Responding to criticism that Housing Australia had housed no Australians, a government spokesman said …

“If the Liberals had their way, there would not be one home delivered by the Fund.”

Maybe. But at least they wouldn’t have spent $30m to build no homes.

If you or I spent millions of other people’s money and got nothing in return, we’d be sacked or imprisoned.

So how can the government do it? Because they’re the government!

You know the greatest irony in all of this, don’t you. 

Albanese hopes that we will reward him for doing nothing to solve the housing crisis by putting a roof over his head for three more years in the Lodge.

Honestly, former Soviet Union bureaucrats would be blushing.