A Portrait of the Greens Dystopian Future

They are calling it Melbourne’s most miserable playground.

Collingwood’s Cambridge Street Reserve was once home to slides, swings, seesaws and a cubby house climbing frame.

And then the Yarra Council announced a $2m upgrade.

Locals with little experience of local government were excited, picturing a kind of inner city Disney Land.

Now they know better.

When the new-beaut playground was unveiled by the Greens dominated council, locals asked:

“Where’s the play equipment?”

It was gone … save a solitary swing, and a weird monkey bar that not even a monkey - on its worst day - would show passing interest in.

Melbourne’s Yarra Council used the $2m allocated to upgrading the playground to replace almost all of the playground equipment with areas for people to sit and eat lunch while surrounded by fancy art installations.

Apparently a council spokesperson said there was no issue because the area identified as a playground. (That’s not actually true. But you could imagine it being true. It’s a Greens council, remember!)